So last night was the inaugural "Mens Night!" I thought it would be a good idea to plan a night every two weeks where the boys and I throw down all the house rules and have some fun. Board games, putt putt, movie night...whatever we can do together. I envision when they are older they would make these men only nights something they would cherish and use the experiences with their kids. Granville liked the idea and wanted to set some rules.....no napkins and forks.
I found that cute..so even though we may scratch ourselves, mess up our clothes and occassionally burp at the table, the end result was to create a memorable experience.
So our first night did not go as planned. I met my kids on the front porch wearing matching white collared shirts and plaid shorts. Mom thought it would be cute to dress them up. I was hoping for t-shirts and flip flops. We started the night with Pizza, and ended with a game of "Mouse Trap."
So today, Granville has said he cant wait for the next Mens night! I look forward to stimulating his imagination and gaining new experiences. It does not have to be much, but we plan to bowl, ride horses, watch outdoor movies, cut wood, wash cars and cook for Mom.
Every Day Dad
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
The Sweetest Words
I was making dinner for Granville the other night when unexpectedly out of his mouth came,
"Dad, your my best friend."
It caught me off guard, because the strong willed one and I are consistently battling who hold's the remote that controls the other. I even believe my bottom lipped quivered as emotion took over and my wife Amanda stopped what she was doing in the other room in disbelief.
As working Dad's, we always get the 20 minutes in the morning and the hour and a half at night to spend with our little ones. We constantly take for granted the work that Mom's go through in raising the children. They have 8 hours a day to teach and play and we just re-inforce. But this statement was different, because I had a vision of what I wanted fatherhood to be like. I wanted to be a pal to my children and more. I aspired when I was younger that I wanted to be a dispenser of wisdom, a benefolent guide who would lead his children along the evil-infested pathway to maturity, gently nudging them this way and that, helping them make the journey safely. I never envisioned myself as "a best friend," but more as "Aslan" from Narnia. Brave and respected and stoic in stature.
But I am learning to take the role as they are little and be just that "a best friend." Granville and I sword fight, wrestle and play "bombs away," as we throw wiffle balls at each other. They are only little for awhile, and what they need is a fatherly best friend to share ice cream, dig in the sandbox, and most of all, help make the saturday morning pancakes. To Granville, he wants me to do that first, and hold off on "Aslan's" knowledge until another age in his life, where my wisdom will help guide him to when he begins to make decisions on his own.
Every Day Dad
"Dad, your my best friend."
It caught me off guard, because the strong willed one and I are consistently battling who hold's the remote that controls the other. I even believe my bottom lipped quivered as emotion took over and my wife Amanda stopped what she was doing in the other room in disbelief.
As working Dad's, we always get the 20 minutes in the morning and the hour and a half at night to spend with our little ones. We constantly take for granted the work that Mom's go through in raising the children. They have 8 hours a day to teach and play and we just re-inforce. But this statement was different, because I had a vision of what I wanted fatherhood to be like. I wanted to be a pal to my children and more. I aspired when I was younger that I wanted to be a dispenser of wisdom, a benefolent guide who would lead his children along the evil-infested pathway to maturity, gently nudging them this way and that, helping them make the journey safely. I never envisioned myself as "a best friend," but more as "Aslan" from Narnia. Brave and respected and stoic in stature.
But I am learning to take the role as they are little and be just that "a best friend." Granville and I sword fight, wrestle and play "bombs away," as we throw wiffle balls at each other. They are only little for awhile, and what they need is a fatherly best friend to share ice cream, dig in the sandbox, and most of all, help make the saturday morning pancakes. To Granville, he wants me to do that first, and hold off on "Aslan's" knowledge until another age in his life, where my wisdom will help guide him to when he begins to make decisions on his own.
Every Day Dad
Monday, April 21, 2008
Stumping a 4 year old
Granville cannot sit for more than 5 minutes without the interaction of an adult. Every day, we long for him to gain more and more independance so we can get some individual time with our other 2 boys. He is the first child, and he is high maintenace and needy.
Working in the yard with him, I found myself remembering the story of a father and his busy son told by Southwestern's Spencer Haye's. I was working as a door to door book salesman, and Spencer delivered the "go into the world" speech to all of us college students.
The story went like this.
A pastor was trying to find some time on a Saturday morning to finish the sermon he was going to deliver the next day. His son, Jack, was only 4 and desperately wanted to play with his father.
"Dad, Dad! explained Jack "The Roberts are going to the zoo, can we go, can we go!"
Like all fathers busily task oriented, the pastor sent young Jack away with a match box car he kept in the desk to preoccupy his son. However, no more than 3 minutes went by when little Jack came back into the study.
"Dad, Dad! explained Jack with T-ball glove in hand.
" Its time to practice my catching, come and catch with me. I need you to catch with me!"
This time, the pastor new he had to find something difficult to keep Jack busy for some time. He noticed in a stack of old magazines there was a printed picture of the world on the cover. The pastor tore the cover off, and ripped the picture into puzzle like pieces. He then gave Jack some tape and said,
"Jack, this is a puzzle, when you have the countries put back in there places....we will go to the zoo and we will eat ice cream, and we will play catch until the sun goes down. "
Surely the pastor thought he had plenty of time, when Jack came walking back in his study after 5 minutes. He held up a perfectly taped picture of the magazine cover with all the countries and states in their correct places. The pastor was amazed.
"Jack, how did you do this so quick?" asked the pastor.
Jack responded. "Dad, I noticed that when you tore the page out, there was a picture of a man on the back."
And then Jack confidently said,"I knew if the man was right Dad, the world will be right."
Hence the finish to the pastors sermon delivered the next day. In order for us to live in today's world, you have got to work on the man!
I shared with Granville, I Timothy 4:12. "Be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in Love, in spirit, in faith, in purity. " It starts with us Dad's by working on our relationship with Christ. If we as Dad's are working on the spiritual man, our spiritual world will be right!
And just maybe, when our 4 year olds see us spending time with out heavenly father, they will know how important it is not to disrupt us.
Every Day Dad
Working in the yard with him, I found myself remembering the story of a father and his busy son told by Southwestern's Spencer Haye's. I was working as a door to door book salesman, and Spencer delivered the "go into the world" speech to all of us college students.
The story went like this.
A pastor was trying to find some time on a Saturday morning to finish the sermon he was going to deliver the next day. His son, Jack, was only 4 and desperately wanted to play with his father.
"Dad, Dad! explained Jack "The Roberts are going to the zoo, can we go, can we go!"
Like all fathers busily task oriented, the pastor sent young Jack away with a match box car he kept in the desk to preoccupy his son. However, no more than 3 minutes went by when little Jack came back into the study.
"Dad, Dad! explained Jack with T-ball glove in hand.
" Its time to practice my catching, come and catch with me. I need you to catch with me!"
This time, the pastor new he had to find something difficult to keep Jack busy for some time. He noticed in a stack of old magazines there was a printed picture of the world on the cover. The pastor tore the cover off, and ripped the picture into puzzle like pieces. He then gave Jack some tape and said,
"Jack, this is a puzzle, when you have the countries put back in there places....we will go to the zoo and we will eat ice cream, and we will play catch until the sun goes down. "
Surely the pastor thought he had plenty of time, when Jack came walking back in his study after 5 minutes. He held up a perfectly taped picture of the magazine cover with all the countries and states in their correct places. The pastor was amazed.
"Jack, how did you do this so quick?" asked the pastor.
Jack responded. "Dad, I noticed that when you tore the page out, there was a picture of a man on the back."
And then Jack confidently said,"I knew if the man was right Dad, the world will be right."
Hence the finish to the pastors sermon delivered the next day. In order for us to live in today's world, you have got to work on the man!
I shared with Granville, I Timothy 4:12. "Be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in Love, in spirit, in faith, in purity. " It starts with us Dad's by working on our relationship with Christ. If we as Dad's are working on the spiritual man, our spiritual world will be right!
And just maybe, when our 4 year olds see us spending time with out heavenly father, they will know how important it is not to disrupt us.
Every Day Dad
Friday, April 11, 2008
For Love of T-ball Not
April 11, 2008
Today was Granville, the Strong Willed child's first T-ball practice. Where to begin as a Dad, a former athlete, a driven competitive individual, to watch your son, not want to participate as 30 little 4 year olds run bases, throw balls and have fun. Let me mark the occasion that mine was the only child not to participate and cried for his mother the entire hour. Now this is not the first sporting event to try for my little munchkin, but the third. And with each sport comes the practices with us parents rooting on someone else's child as ours sits alone on a cold aluminum bench, choosing not to participate. Let me make this clear...he chooses not to participate. Something always snaps from the house to the practice where the excitement stops and the bribing (from us parents) begin.
Now let me tell you, I quickly lost the cool card and began to show embarrasment among my new parental friends. I offered Granville a couple of hefty bribes, even throwing in the much wanted Bat Man Monster truck. However to no success, i stay committed to make him sit through the entire practice telling him its a commitment and its a team sport, and he participates or continues to sit. I truly believe if I give in to what he wants to do, he will never understand the social elements of participating in team sports, nor finding the gratitude of becoming a team player from the respect of another (coach); to keeping his head high and working through defeat as he gets older. Team sports allow a young man to succeed on the playing field and in the world. Team sports build character, help young men control their actions and learn respect. Team sports allow you to thrive individually while learning to keep the focus to a group and harness individual pride.
Now part of my conflict with Granville was not to see who wins the battle. Some parents may say, take him home and come back next week. All the things I want to facilitate with Granville in my mind start at the age of 4, where he wants to push his will, without the foresight and consequences of how it could affect his future. Crazy as it sounds, I truly believe that you train a child early to compromise and become a team player, and the individual wants never become apparent later on.
Look what Christ did for us. He did not die just to save himself from the sins of this world. He took our sins for the betterment of his team....us, our eternal salvation.
At some point, Granville will get off the bench, and he will reap the rewards individually of becoming a team player on the field and here at home.
Every Day Dad
Today was Granville, the Strong Willed child's first T-ball practice. Where to begin as a Dad, a former athlete, a driven competitive individual, to watch your son, not want to participate as 30 little 4 year olds run bases, throw balls and have fun. Let me mark the occasion that mine was the only child not to participate and cried for his mother the entire hour. Now this is not the first sporting event to try for my little munchkin, but the third. And with each sport comes the practices with us parents rooting on someone else's child as ours sits alone on a cold aluminum bench, choosing not to participate. Let me make this clear...he chooses not to participate. Something always snaps from the house to the practice where the excitement stops and the bribing (from us parents) begin.
Now let me tell you, I quickly lost the cool card and began to show embarrasment among my new parental friends. I offered Granville a couple of hefty bribes, even throwing in the much wanted Bat Man Monster truck. However to no success, i stay committed to make him sit through the entire practice telling him its a commitment and its a team sport, and he participates or continues to sit. I truly believe if I give in to what he wants to do, he will never understand the social elements of participating in team sports, nor finding the gratitude of becoming a team player from the respect of another (coach); to keeping his head high and working through defeat as he gets older. Team sports allow a young man to succeed on the playing field and in the world. Team sports build character, help young men control their actions and learn respect. Team sports allow you to thrive individually while learning to keep the focus to a group and harness individual pride.
Now part of my conflict with Granville was not to see who wins the battle. Some parents may say, take him home and come back next week. All the things I want to facilitate with Granville in my mind start at the age of 4, where he wants to push his will, without the foresight and consequences of how it could affect his future. Crazy as it sounds, I truly believe that you train a child early to compromise and become a team player, and the individual wants never become apparent later on.
Look what Christ did for us. He did not die just to save himself from the sins of this world. He took our sins for the betterment of his team....us, our eternal salvation.
At some point, Granville will get off the bench, and he will reap the rewards individually of becoming a team player on the field and here at home.
Every Day Dad
Thursday, April 3, 2008
The Birthday Fib
April 3, 2008
My son just celebrated his 4th birthday this morning. He woke up around 6:45am and instead of waking us up, decided to break into the gifts on the buffet that his mother nicely wrapped. When I came into the kitchen awoken by the rustling of spiderman wrapping paper, his joy was illuminating. He had just opened "monster mutt" a new Monster truck that he had taken fascination too while at his first Monster Truck rally. He immediately responded to tell me that he found the gifts that way and he had not opened them. I quickly said that we had wrapped them last night and asked if he did indeed unwrap them and was telling me the truth. He immediately said that he had only opened two but that was because he could not reach the big one or he would have just opened one.
I found it funny that when faced with the opportunity, my child will lie knowingly until asked if he were lying. His response was quick, but that is because he thought no one was looking until faced with reason. Later the next night before bedtime we revisited the birthday morning incident. I told him that I talk to God and that he speaks to me. I used this opportunity to present to Granville that God is with us always and sees everything. His response:
"dad, if God is in my heart, how does he see through my skin?"
Hence I presented that his spirit is all around. Now I know what you are thinking. God did not tell me that Granville was opening presents, and that is where my actions as a Dad can carry to my son(s) for a long time. They emmulate me. My stretch in truth is where they learn to stretch the truth. My relationship with our lord Jesus is not strong enough to protect my actions from doing what is absolutley right. As a father, I am happy for the teaching, but the lesson has been learned from me just as much. Decisions that I make and things that I say, are also always in the presence of our father.
Remember the saying "character is identified by the actions you take when no one is looking"
Every Day Dad!!
My son just celebrated his 4th birthday this morning. He woke up around 6:45am and instead of waking us up, decided to break into the gifts on the buffet that his mother nicely wrapped. When I came into the kitchen awoken by the rustling of spiderman wrapping paper, his joy was illuminating. He had just opened "monster mutt" a new Monster truck that he had taken fascination too while at his first Monster Truck rally. He immediately responded to tell me that he found the gifts that way and he had not opened them. I quickly said that we had wrapped them last night and asked if he did indeed unwrap them and was telling me the truth. He immediately said that he had only opened two but that was because he could not reach the big one or he would have just opened one.
I found it funny that when faced with the opportunity, my child will lie knowingly until asked if he were lying. His response was quick, but that is because he thought no one was looking until faced with reason. Later the next night before bedtime we revisited the birthday morning incident. I told him that I talk to God and that he speaks to me. I used this opportunity to present to Granville that God is with us always and sees everything. His response:
"dad, if God is in my heart, how does he see through my skin?"
Hence I presented that his spirit is all around. Now I know what you are thinking. God did not tell me that Granville was opening presents, and that is where my actions as a Dad can carry to my son(s) for a long time. They emmulate me. My stretch in truth is where they learn to stretch the truth. My relationship with our lord Jesus is not strong enough to protect my actions from doing what is absolutley right. As a father, I am happy for the teaching, but the lesson has been learned from me just as much. Decisions that I make and things that I say, are also always in the presence of our father.
Remember the saying "character is identified by the actions you take when no one is looking"
Every Day Dad!!
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